I like my version better

The note I wanted to write, after the nurse called me and made me take D. to the doctor for having a runny nose and a "fever" of 99.1:

Dear Nurse Annoying,

Stop. calling. me. I am not sure why my son spends so much time in your office, because he sure as heck isn't asking to go see the nurse, or even complaining. My kid is not a complainer. You are, though. Oh, boy, you are a complainer.

Let me tell you Nurse Annoying, in all the years I went to school, from nursery school through college, I missed a total of 4 days for illness. In the fourth grade, I threw up at Hebrew school. When my parents were called, they told the director that they'd be there at pick up time as scheduled, because they were at work. I was horrifically sick, with a fever of about 470 degrees, and I was allowed to stay home for the next 3 days. In high school, I once came down and told my father I had cramps, and he was too mortified to respond, so I stayed home.

I cannot imagine the reaction my mother would have had if she had ever gotten a phone call to alert her to my runny nose. Does the school not have an adequate supply of tissues? I am aware that my son has a snotty nose. He is five. This is part of life. It is one of the most normal things about him.

Also, I hate to tell you, but 99.1 is not a fever, particularly not for my child, who runs warm in general. Does he act sick? Is he lying on the floor moaning? Is he refusing to participate in activities? Is he turning down food? On the contrary, he is active, engaged, and delighted to eat. And he is NOT happy when you send him home from school.

I trust that we will not have to have this conversation again in the future.

Hugs,
WG

The note the doctor wrote, at the visit I was required to have, in order to get the doctor's note, so that D. can return to school tomorrow:

D. has been seen in my office and is dx'd with a VRI. He is OK to return to school -- should be re-evaluated for a fever > 100 or symptoms > two weeks.