Thursday, July 19, 2007

Would You Know a Miracle if You Saw One?

When you have a kid with special needs, particularly if there’s any developmental delay, you learn to live differently. You adjust your expectations. You try to be satisfied with less, although that doesn’t always work out.

Every day, numerous times a day, we ask D, “What is your name?” Usually the answer is “No my name.” Sometimes he says, “My name—“pauses expectantly, then changes the subject (“I want chocolate.”). Sometimes he repeats the question. But he has never answered it correctly.

This morning, Mr. WG was in the shower, and somehow I was in bed surrounded by children. D. climbed on top of me to give me a hug.

“How are you?” he asked me.

“I’m OK,”I said. “How are you?”

“I’m OK,” he said, and my heart leapt, because that’s another question D. never answers.

“What’s your name?” I asked him. No response. Z. prompted him, as she often hears us do: “Say, ‘My name…’”

And D. replied, “My name is D.”

Even writing it takes my breath away.


Blu said...




Teej said...

Goosebumps all over and tears in my eyes.

lisa said...

I've got tears in my eyes too! Go D!!!

Scottsdale Girl said...


The Gwench said...

How wonderful!!!

Emily said...

What a fabulous story.... great. Makes me smile!

mom to three great kids said...

That's wonderful....PLease never give up hope...i have two sons who both had speech heart broke when i found out...i blamed myself, i blamed my husband....i needed to blame something or somebody....lots of speech therapy for both...once a week...every week...for years...begging and pleading with schools to give them extra help. Today after years of boys are wonderful Teenagers One is 15 the other is almost 13...they have caught up with their delays, even though my oldest still has to give alot more effort than others to achieve passing grades but that's long as there is hope and we are all willing to put in the efforts to help him succeed...never loose that hope.

Dramalish said...

I don't know if I ever told you about this, but my nephew is special needs... sort of without explanation. He has major speech delays, along with a few other issues.

I loved this post. These moments with kids like my nephew and D are all the more precious.

Andrea said...

What a beautiful way to start the day! WooHoo, D!

Anonymous said...

that is wonderful

Swimrrr said...

OK -
Two things:
1. So my reaction to the title of the blog is something I heard from my cousin. His daughter is, shall we say, rather fascist. Though she attends a fine, child-centered pre-school, she has internalized the whole, "You get what you get" thing differently -- in her version, "I get what I get and I don't get upset." By nature, we are selfish folk. Sometimes, I just marvel at the fact that our bodies function, that the pH of our bodies somehow can govern, in milliseconds, how many times we need to breathe; that the seritonin gets taken up from the synapses of our brain so many zillions of times and enables us to fuction -- etc. It's so amazing, we shouldn't actually have to do any of the thinking that sentinent humans normally are required to do. But we really want more than the basics -- I read some wonky paper and, remembering that I haven't published anything in three years, I realize how much I could be achieving; how could I settle for just existing? I think the former attitude reflects the "you get what you get approach," the latter is the "I get what I get, then I don't get upset" school of thought. And I actually think you're the latter -- you make the deals with God because it's not enough that D is a gorgeous, healthy boy. You want him bringing home that parsha sheet and knowing the answers, too. So I love how you catalogue your fight for that here.

2. Which leads to my second point(sorry to air my own laundry on your blog, very rude, but it's 2 AM and my guard is down, so what the hell [my blogging language is worse than my real person language, FYI]). I should be all thrilled with what I got: my T.G.amazing, though chronically unsleeping, kids. But: happy first birthday to the return of my period after giving birth. As of today, I've got twelve months of ovulating under my belt -- which makes me, yet again, technically having fertility issues! Whoo-hooo! I didn't like what I got, so I got upset. Just when I can't have some alcohol to dull the pain -- bummer.

Swimrrr said...

I am a moron -- I meant to write that my cousin says "I get what I WANT and I don't get upset"

Vandychick said...

I love that D asked you how you were doing. Most days I am lucky if anyone asks me that!

What a beautiful moment for you.

Lynn said...