Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Daddy, Daddy, If You Could Only See

So, remember how my dad told me I should just… give up on my kid? So, I forwarded that email to Mrs. Block, and she had this AWESOME reply:

Can't help but think that the bogeyman that wakes you up at night to worry about D. sounds remarkably like your dad in his e-mail. I'm sure he's a wonderful man, and I respect his daughter very much, but I question whether D. really does have an "inability . . . to grasp the most elementary concepts of self/other/join in/relate." I'm staking my opinion on the fact that this is NOT true. Certainly, I think it may be too much for him to generate enough language to relate it, but I think he sees himself in relationship with others. And, I'm sure I don't need to say this, but there is never a time when intervention and/or schooling does not help when a child's not at age-appropriate levels of development. When I think about some kids I've worked with and the fears I've had for them, and then think about the verbal, reciprocal, symbolic play they have with me now, 3 years later, I know interventions like the ones you all are pursuing make enormous differences.

Yeah. So then my parents called, and Mr. WG refused to answer the phone, and I finally did, and then I told him, “We disagree with what you said about D.” And he said, “We figured you would,” all smug-like, and that was annoying, but I took a deep breath.

“Our disagreement wasn’t based on not wanting to agree with you,” I explained. “It was backed by professional opinion.”

I’m telling you, if D. were my dad’s kid, he’d be institutionalized. And I really think that some part of him truly believes I should just put D. “away” and focus on the kids that “have a chance.”

I love my dad, I do, but I don’t always like him very much.


ella said...

Sounds like you handled yourself with remarkable restraint. Well-done.

P.S. You have a real name twice in the e-mail excerpt.

WriterGrrl said...

Thanks! On both counts! Fixed it. :-)

ADHD Mom said...

WG, you are awesome! What a great advocate for your child, in even the most trying of times. There's a reason why G-d gave D to you and not to your father. Not to say that plenty of parents don't give up hope, but as I tell you, pretty much every day, D is an unbelievable child with so much to offer, and you get it in a way that your Dad never could. I know that your and Mr. WG are the presidents of D's fan club, but count me in - I love that kid :)

Blu said...

Yeah, I can see what you're saying about your dad... it does sound like he'd rather you put D. away. But I think you're doing the right things... I don't think I'd have the heart to just give up on one of my children. If a momma won't fight for her child, who will?

For whatever it's worth, I'm behind you and D., and wishing you well. :)

P.S. I saw that name, too. I didn't get to comment earlier... to mention that to you didn't even cross my mind, for some reason. But it's beautiful. I've never heard that before. :)

lorret said...

I don't think I was breathing as I read that post!! I don't know what to say except that mother knows best.But you already knew this.

Still just me said...

This is one of the reasons you were blessed with this child.

WriterGrrl said...

Thank you all. :-) Re: the name -- it is Hebrew and it means "jewel." And that it what he is.

Blu said...

He most definitely is. <3