Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Things I Would Like to Say

To D's bus driver: You rock. You are just awesome. Never change. We love you.

To all the parents who came to back to school night at D's school with their children and let their children talk at full volume during the 15 minute talk given by the principal: WTF?

To my daughters' new teacher: Please change your cell phone message so that it doesn't tell people you'll call them back "if you like them," and please PLEASE do not ever start off in back to school night by saying that you've "never taught this subject before."

To my brothers-in-law: Please. STOP. CALLNG. YOUR. MOTHER. ALREADY. Holy GOD! You are all GROWN MEN. Why oh WHY must you call your mother twice a day?

To my father-in-law: Stop asking me what's new. What's going to be new from the last time we spoke, oh, TEN MINUTES AGO?

To the new teacher in D's class: It's OK to mention God in front of us. We don't actually stone people for that anymore. Seriously, you seem like you'll be awesome. I need you to be awesome. My kid needs you to be awesome. Please be awesome.

To my husband: Dude, when your wife sees a neurologist because she is frikkin dizzy all the damn time, the proper response is not, "I know what's wrong with you. You're a psycho!" You are not funny.

That is all. Thank you.

6 comments:

Shosh said...

Love it! I have my own post like this formulated in my head, but I'm too scared of the people I actually know in real life who read my blog. How did you get so brave?!?

The Gwench said...

You go, Writergrrl! Tell 'em like it is!

Norman said...

that phone message is really beyond any kind of comment I can think of.

Here's hoping D's new teacher rocks.

Norman said...

hey that's me Lisa b.
sometimes I get logged in as the huz.

Mia said...

Now let's just hope that the teachers and bus driver read your post...not to mention your hubby.

Mine seems to think that's a funny, helpful answer for me too. They know nothing!

Good luck on the dizziness.

Natalie said...

WG - what a terrific post - I had a good hearty laugh..neeeded it after a long tiring day!