Tuesday, June 03, 2008

A story followed by a quiz.

So, some time back, we were at someone else's house, and one of the kids whacked S. in the head with a metal baseball bat. Now, who keeps a metal baseball bat lying around, anyway, but whatever.

She wound up with a couple of stitches in her head, and a few weeks later, we got a letter from the insurance company asking if it happened on someone else's property.

We just left that question blank and paid the $350 at the ER and didn't sic our insurance company on the other homeowners. We're cool like that. We did tell them about the letter, but to us it was a funny aside. We NEVER suggested that anyone reimburse us for the ER visit. And no one ever offered to do so.

About a month and a half ago, D. walked up to the same homeowners' car and yanked on their rear windshield wiper. He was immediately reprimanded, and I said to the owner, "Let me know if he did any real damage and we'll take care of it."

Mr. WG called her husband the next morning and asked about the car. "Don't worry about it," he was told. "It was nothing." Not satisfied, Mr. WG drove over to look out it. He came home and said, "He's right. It's nothing."

On Shabbas, the wife told Mr. WG that he'd need to take her car into the dealership because the rear windshield wiper isn't working.

Mr. WG shrugged and said OK. Then he came home and told me about the conversation.

My questions to you, dear readers, are as follows:

1. Am I wrong to be so irritated?
2. Am I wrong to think of the tit-for-tat approach? As in, I paid for my own ER visit, pay for your own windshield wiper?
3. If my “friendship” with this woman is already strained, is it worth it to say anything, or should I just let it go?
4. What do you think you would have done, and is it different from what you would have wished afterwards that you had done?


Natalie said...

1. You're not wrong to be irritated.
2. I don't think you're wrong for thinking that way.
3. I definitely think it's worth saying something - but what I think makes it difficult for both you and Mr. WG is that you guys were so kind in that you kept offering to fix the problem....they were not obviously when the tables were turned...so it's a dicy situation...I feel for you
4. I think I would have done exactly as you - and felt exactly as you in that they didn't offer to let it slide as you so generously did

Lisa b said...

#4 I would decide if I wanted to be friends with this woman anymore because if I gave her money even though I was already done with her it would piss me off for the rest of my life.

lisa said...

I would be irritated too. I can't imagine asking someone else to pay for this when it was an accident, regardless of the baseball bat incident. But BECAUSE the bat incident happened, I would really be irritated (it wasn't explicitly stated but I took it to mean it was one of her kids that hit your kid with the bat, right?)

It would be hard for me to say something just because I'm a chicken but if you do want to say something, which you have every right to do, I'm sure it will end the relationship. If you're okay with that, and it won't make for awkward social situations, go for it! People should be called on their bullsh-t more often.

Brandy said...

1. NO - you are definitely NOT wrong to be irritated.
2. I think the "tit-for-tat approach" is a great one but there is a possibility they are not taking that same stance.
3. If the "friendship" is already strained to the point of you being worried about saying something then maybe the friendship isn't worth having (sorry!! just my opinion!!).
4. I think I would have done exactly what you have done. I would have had my insurance pay for what they would and taken care of the rest myself. If they try to ask you to pay for the broken windshield wiper I would remind them about their child whacking your kid in the head and the $350.00 you saved them from having to pay. If they make an issue of it you might contact your homeowner's insurance to see if they would cover that (some policies will).

Of course all of this is speculation and only you can decide the best course of action. Good luck! ( What do you think you would have done, and is it different from what you would have wished afterwards that you had done?

dee said...

Count me in the "I'd be irritated" column.

The fact that you and Mr. WG took the "it was an accident" approach about the baseball bat incident, and didn't pursue it any further in terms of reimbursement. I would think that now that the tables are turned, they should take the same approach.

I guess I would assess how much their friendship means, is it a friendship you see lasting long-term, or is this just a "we only have our kids in common"-type of friendship that will ultimately end on its own? If so, then perhaps it bears mentioning to them that you paid $350 for your kid's ER visit, courtesy of their kid's meat-handedness. If that doesn't spell the situation out to them, then perhaps it's time to be frank. Of course, if it were me, I'd make my husband do the 'frank' part as I am not a fan of confrontation of any sort.

Good luck getting this all sorted out. I think you've definitely got every right to be annoyed though.

Still just me said...

It was an accident, but you did offer to take care of it.

Question? Did they offer to take care of the ER visit?

dana said...

I too am interested in their reaction to the bat incident? What did they offer? I would imagine that if it had been my kid, I would have
1. been mortified!
2. sent flowers
3 sent gifts
4. asked what I could do, I am not sure if I would have asked if there was a payment due, as I would have imagined that the insurance would have covered it, but now that I read it did not, I would now ask if there were charges that I could pay.

I would not imagine that I would ever ask anyone to pay for my windshielf.

But, I am sure that I would be quite irratated, it would probably affect the friendship.

People are odd you just never know how they will react to anything. Especially the friends!

DESJ and Company said...

In a perfect world I would pay the bill for the wiper repair and then stick a copy of the ER bill along with my cancelled check in their mailbox with a polite letter asking to be reimbursed.

But I am a non-confrontational wimp and would probably just pay up and then steam about it to my friends. :)