Monday, November 26, 2007

I feel like I probably wrote about this already, but if I did, it's not on the page of my blog currently viewable, and I'm too lazy to search my own archives. So if you find yourself bored and singing the words along with me, feel free to switch to a different station.

When we first started PT with D., when he was four months old, my first question to the therapist was, "So, how long do you think he'll need therapy?" And that has continued to be my question with every new therapist we encounter. I also constantly ask them to rate him -- how delayed is he? How much has he caught up in the last 6 months/2 weeks/5 minutes? When do you think he'll be all caught up?

I guess it's that old stubborn pride. Although D. has special needs now, there's a part of me that believes, or wants to believe, that one day all of this will be behind us. That when I give the award-winning speech at his Bar Mitzvah, we'll all look back on these days and laugh.

It's amazing how able I am to empathize with someone else with a child with special needs while at the same time thinking, Whew! We really dodged a bullet there! Thank goodness D. will outgrow his delays.

And lately, I've come to be a little more realistic. But it's like peering over the edge of the abyss, and I haven't yet had the courage to face it head on, much less to jump and expect the parachute to billow up above me and carry me to safety.

It's been weighing heavily on my mind the past few days in particular because of my birth control. I see your confused expression, so let me explain. I'd been on Seasonique, the pill you take for three months at a time. And I've been having freaking crazy night sweats. I mean, every night I have to get up and change in the middle of the night because I am drenched. So I thought it might be related to the pill. So after a year, I finally saw the NP at my OB/GYN's office, and she switched me to Yasmine. And boy, howdy! What a ride.

1. I still have night sweats.
2. I also burst into tears ALL DAY LONG.

So I called the office to report this, and I was told: Hormonal issues can take up to SIX WEEKS to resolve.

Lucky, lucky me. And lucky YOU, dear readers, who reap the benefit of my emotionally-charged life.


Jess said...

Dude. I was thinking about switching to Yasmine because it's supposed to help with PMS. (And, uh, yeah, I need that help.)

Maybe not?

Andrea said...

Wow. Um. Are you going to wait out the 6 weeks?

lisa said...

There's nothing worse than the havoc hormones can wreak. Sounds terrible! I hope it gets better soon...6 weeks sounds unbearable.

Anonymous said...

I know you're not looking for suggestions, when you've just made a change...but have you considered an IUD? No hormones, and it's MORE effective than the hormones (plus, the week I decide I want another kid, I can have an OB remove the ounce of copper from my uterus, and I'm right back at normal fertility).

Yes, IUDs were dangerous in the 1970s, but they've been completely redesigned since then (though the reputation stuck).

The only downside appears to be slightly more bleeding during my period--but I'll take that instead of the hormones any month!

Lisa b said...

I feel like I am getting to your place with D at some kind of warp speed. Most kids aren't even diagnosed at Julia's age so it is just a bizarre thing for me to be managing my expectations of a child who is six months old.

Since we are all sharing. I got an IUD too. Mainly because I am bad at remembering pills and after the year I have had I do not want to get pregnant.

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kathy said...

i feel this way too: I guess it's that old stubborn pride. Although D. has special needs now, there's a part of me that believes, or wants to believe, that one day all of this will be behind us.

i have this fantasy daydream that my baby will not need therapy after he turns 1 and that at his 1st birthday party, i can say to everyone, "when he was born he went through so much hell but now he's all recovered and perfect".