Tuesday, July 11, 2006

These Tears of Mine

Since I started taking the Zoloft, things have gotten a little bit easier. I have made a conscious effort to be less stressed about things that don't really matter. And more noticeably, when I talk about D's history, I don't cry. In fact, I don't cry at all these days, which was starting to weird me out a bit.

I mean, I got through genetics and the followup with neurology with no tears. I met D's new speech therapist and gave her his whole history -- which usually has me wiping my eyes furiously and muttering about allergies. I watched some sad movies and read some fairly moving stories -- nothing.

It's almost like I'm a NORMAL PERSON or something.

BUT. BUT. Then, the other day, I was talking about something remotely emotional -- I don't remember what it was, but it was something along the lines of RUNNING OUT OF SOAP -- and I felt the tears springing up. I noted it and moved on. And then, the last few days, I've noticed that I'm stressing the small stuff again. Like, yesterday, the girls were going to be late for camp, and I couldn't stop myself from freaking out about it. I mean, what did I think they were going to miss? Five minutes of macrame?

The dose I'm on is 25 mg/day -- borderline theraputic. Should I ask for more? Is my body developing a tolerance? That seems a little dangerous. Thoughts?


lisa said...

I don't know...sounds like maybe you do need an increase, but it's been awhile since I've been on antidepressants so I'm not sure. I'm thinking this Zoloft thing sounds like a good idea! My anxiety is out of control these days.