Tuesday, July 25, 2006

In Which I Get All Preachy

Right, so I've spoken before about taking Zoloft. But listen up now, because I'm not just repeating myself.

  1. We live in a sucky world. We do. For me, it's 9/11. The tsunami. Katrina. The disengagement and the threat of civil war in Israel. Israel united -- but fighting a war for her very survival. You might be affected by different world events, but you are affected, because we live in a sucky world. If you can honestly wake up and look around and say, "Nothing is wrong today!" then you are -- well, I don't know what you are, but it's not healthy.

  2. We expect a ridiculous amount from women today. We expect women to work, rear children, keep up the house, cook, deal with child crises, and never complain. Now, I am not saying that I personally do all these things, nor am I saying that Mr. WG doesn't lift a finger, but let's be realistic. Let's take this morning for instance. If you ask Mr. WG, he will likely tell you that I slept late while he got everyone ready. But let's take a closer look. Mr. WG got up first, that's true. But he also slept through the three times I got up to nurse Baby J. last night. So anyway. I got up at around 7:20 this morning, and I got out to the kitchen about 25 minutes later, showered and dressed. Mr. WG had made lunches for the girls. D. was sitting at the table eating breakfast, wearing only a diaper. Baby J. was strapped into the highchair. Mr. WG zipped up the girls' lunchboxes and went to his office. In his mind, he is done.
    I then: told DD2 to put on her shoes, asked the girls to find their swimsuits and towels for camp, took Baby J. out of the highchair and noticed that no one had changed his diaper, changed Baby J's diaper, told DD2 to put. on. her. shoes already, took D. upstairs to get him dressed, came back down and gathered the girls' lunchboxes and swim stuff and put it all by the front door, began cleaning the kitchen, told DD2 to PUT. ON. YOUR. SHOES before I get REALLY ANGRY, found DD2s shoes for her, nursed Baby J, strapped DD2's shoes onto her feet FOR HER, returned to cleaning the kitchen, mediated fights between the girls, changed D., and dropped what I was doing several times to go check Baby J. and make sure he was OK.
    If one of my kids has a planned -- or unplanned -- pediatrician visit, it is a given that I will be the one to go. Groceries? Me. Picking up kids from camp -- one at 3 and one at 4? Me. Dealing with fussy kids who don't want to take naps? Me. You get the picture. You LIVE the picture. So you're stressed, and it's not surprising.

  3. We got some whacked out hormones, yo. I mean, seriously, being a mom will totally mess with you. That's how we're wired. And if you thikn that you can go through that process without any outside help, you are FREAKING NUTS.

Zo. Loft. Baby. Get you some. Get a low dose. You will be AMAZED at the difference it makes in your life. There is a real difference between watching the news and sobbing hysterically, feeling like you will never be able to stop, thinking What if that were my child?, imagining the funerals of your family members -- there is a real difference between that (THE CRAZY) and watching the news and saying, "My. GOD. That is horrible. Those poor people." And acknowledging the horror and being spurred to some sort of action, but being able to then get the kid's shoes on and get her out the door to camp.

It's not weakness to ask for help. But it's irresponsible to ignore your need for it.


3MGA mom said...

I think you're talking to me :)

And I hear you, but I work (when I work, that is), in a field where mental illness is still pretty taboo, and accepting medication could have professional repercussions down the road. I also took Zoloft in HS, and it gave me a stomach ache (and minor hallucinations, which I didn't really mind at the time but would prefer not to have now).

So I'm left with the holistic route, which in my case is trying to eat better, making sure to drink enough water, and getting more exercise. Fortunately, it does work for me in the long run

Don't worry, if I ever get to the point where I am actively concerned about myself, I will get help, and lots of it. You're right that I need something, though, but I think in my case it's going to have to be a new yoga class.

WriterGrrl said...

Yeah, your post prompted it, but it's been brewing for a while. Look, I'm not all about the drugs, but if you know you need the good food, the water and the exercise, make sure that you get them. Make it about a MEDICAL NEED. If you have to hire a sitter to get the exercise in, do it. High school kids are cheap, and they can totally watch a kid, even a SN kid, while you are at home. Go for a yoga video if you're uncomfortable leaving the house. But commit, hire the sitter, and make it a regular thing.

Lisa said...

You are so right. It's partly due to your previous posts on the subject that I'm going to be asking my OBGYN at next week's visit for a script. TAKE THAT TOM CRUISE!