Monday, February 20, 2006

But it's my kid's brain that worries them....

People are idiots.

No, really. And I'm not just talking about morons who come up to me in the park and congratulate me for being "strong" when they see my obviously 4-year-old kid acting like THE 2-YEAR-OLD HE IS. No, that's a rant for another day. Today, today, I reserve for the freaks who hire me. Wait. That came out wrong.

Let me back up and explain, but in a way that doesn't let my clients figure out that I'm talking about them. OK. So, I have a client who, let's say, spill-proof cups. And they asked me to write a course about their very latest super-duper spill-proof cups and how to use them to, um, drink, really well. Well, they want an entire lesson dedicated to drinking through a straw with these cups, and they even sent me a cup to use while writing the course so that I could really get into it and take digital photos of the cup IN USE and whatever. Don't you think that somewhere along the line, they might have mentioned that THE FREAKING CUP DOESN'T COME WITH A DAMN STRAW???? And that their company doesn't even MAKE OR SELL the compatible straw and that I would have to SEARCH THE INTERNET FOR HOURS to find a compatible straw? Did anyone from S-P Cups READ the proposed lesson plans?

Yeah, let's let these people continue to run a company, but let's all get up in arms because my kid doesn't have a lot to say.

Mr. WG took D. out to get a new passport this morning. After that, they'll drive around while D. watches DVDs in the backseat of the Honda, and eventually, they'll get to the hospital.

My girls -- and by girls, I actually mean my daughters, not my boobs -- attend private religious school, so they were both sent off with instructions to pray extra hard for good results. Any of you who want to do the same are welcome. And appreciated.