Good News, and a Side of Guilt

I won't keep you in suspense -- I'll just go ahead and tell you that Adi DOES NOT NEED a bone marrow transplant. This is EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT news.

But now, let's back up a little.

One of the kids on the oncology ward is a 12.5-year-old boy, Oree, who is awesome. When we first met Oree, he was in the middle of his HR treatment, so he was not in the best mood, but we got along pretty well from the get-go. I brought him a copy of Wimpy Kid in English while he was Adi's roommate, and once we were all discharged, we'd always say hi on the outpatient ward. Back when me met Oree, we already knew that he was going in for BMT, but they were still looking for a donor.

One day, he came to me on the outpatient ward and told me they'd found a donor -- a 100% match. "I was happy and sad at the same time," he said.

"Um, what?"

"Well, happy, because, you know -- a match! But sad because this means I'm not unique in the world."

I laughed, I posted his picture on Twitter and Facebook. And on Sunday, he checked in to the BMT Unit and started his own blog. It's in Hebrew, so I recommend that you start learning, because he's a great writer, and it's fascinating to hear his perspective on all of this. But still, I hate that he has to go through it.

A few weeks back, we met one of the other families on the oncology ward -- their son was born after eight years of fertility treatments. He is not quite three, and a few days ago, they were told that he also needs a bone marrow transplant.

We were sure that Adi was going to need a transplant. Since Day 8, we've been classed as high risk. Adi hasn't responded to treatment they way they wanted him to all along. And when they repeated his Day 78 bone marrow biopsy, we were sure that they were looking to confirm the worst. So today, when the doctor told Guy that Adi's Day 78 bone marrow was "clean," Guy's response was, "Are you serious? Are you SURE???" And yes, the doctor assured him that he was both serious and sure. And we are thrilled -- Yoni actually told Lior, "Mommy jumped up and down when she was on the phone."

But in the middle of all this excitement and happiness, I feel... a sort of survivor's guilt, I suppose. I cry for Sam. I worry for Oree and for the other family who just heard they're headed for BMT. I know that we could easily, so easily be in their place. So we will do what we can to support them as they soldier on -- and we will be there beside them, walking our own path.